


like a dream.

by enjolrolo



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, excuse me ma'am this is my emotional support chowder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 06:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17340548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrolo/pseuds/enjolrolo
Summary: Nursey's having a hard self-love day.





	like a dream.

It’s not a good thing to compare yourself to others, Nursey has been told. His therapist told him every time he was hard on himself that he just needs to focus on improving, not what everyone else is accomplishing. That everyone is going at their own pace, and he’s not competing with anyone.

It’s not that easy, though, especially when Nursey’s brain has a hard time producing any sort of helpful chemicals, or Nursey stares at his wall for four hours instead of finishing his homework, or when his hypersomnia hits and he crashes for thirty-six hours. Nursey is  _ Nursey _ , and the stress of taking nineteen credits is digging deep into his bones, pulling him down until he can’t even roll out of bed on time.

Needless to say, Nursey is having a hard self-love day (that’s what Shitty used to call them, anyway, because Shitty’s a hippie who spends too much time on the Internet). It’s a day where Nursey hates every inch of himself and hates that he’s on a team with so many guys who actually function on a day-to-day basis (or at least can manage their mental illness in a way that lets them play hockey). 

For example, there’s his own boyfriend, Chowder. Chowder’s productive. Chowder’s a compsci major who’s fucking  _ killing  _ it (even when he pulls all-nighters to finish his homework, he's cheerful and lovely the next day), and Nursey hasn’t made it out of bed yet, because there’s a mirror on the back of his bedroom door and he doesn’t want to face it. He also hasn’t checked his phone, even though people are probably trying to get in touch with him. Chowder has a key to Nursey’s place if he needs something, anyway.

Which, he won’t. Chowder’s most likely just biding his time until it’s a good chance to ditch Nursey for someone who doesn’t cancel on him for “mental health reasons”. Nursey has been trying to accept this for months, and now that he’s stuck in his bed being pathetic for the near future, now’s a perfect time to drill this fact into his skull.

Why does he want to cry upon thinking that Chowder’s going to move on to better people? It’s not like Nursey had much of a chance in the first place.

He burrows his face into a pillow and drags his comforter up over his head anyway.

Time isn’t real for Nursey after that, not until there’s a knock on the apartment door and he startles out of whatever daze he was in (it wasn’t sleep, it was kind of concentrated self-hatred. Which, _emo as hell,_ yeah, but he's very comfortable in his truth right now). 

The knocker turns out to be Chowder coming home from class. The door is unlocked and Nursey hears a gentle, “Hey, dude? You awake?”

Nursey’s tired “yeah” is enough indication to how he’s feeling. Being fully awake again means that he’s back to beating himself up and living with a head full of dark clouds of angry thoughts.

“Are you sick?” his door creaks open, then is shut, and Nursey pulls his blanket off of his head to see Chowder, looking concerned in one of Nursey’s stupid old navy blue Andover sweatshirts. 

“Nah, just chillin’.”

"Can I chill with you?” Chowder can definitely tell something’s up. At Nursey’s nod, Chowder wrestles his hi-tops off of his feet, then climbs over Nursey and under the covers to situate himself on the bed next to him. He brings the smell of the hipster coffee shop down the street with him, he’d probably stopped by on the way home. “You seem tired.”

“Yeah.” Nursey turns and wraps his arms around Chowder’s waist as tight as he can.

Chowder hums absentmindedly for a while, winding down from his classes that day, until they’re both warm and comfortable. Nursey is about to fall back asleep (despite the fact that he never got up and he’s probably exhibiting some Depressive Symptoms that Chowder is worried about), and then Chowder says, “I’m so proud of you.”

Nursey looks up at him so quickly that he almost knocks Chowder in the chin. He’s definitely misheard something. “What?”

Chowder is smiling, eternally patient. “I said I’m proud of you.”

Nursey just pushes his nose back into Chowder’s chest. There’s a lump rising in his throat, but he’s not going to allow it to become anything more than that. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> lol back in 2016 i was posting nursey/dex like what kind of self-love glo-up is this!!!!


End file.
